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When will your divorce be over?
People constantly ask us, When will my divorce be over? And we always have to say, Well, it depends on what you mean by over.
In one unforgettable case, a woman came in asking for orders against her ex-husband. She was haggard with emotion, nervous and upset to the point that she seemed ill. Trembling, she related at length how bad her ex-husband was, how ever since their divorce he had been poisoning her sons mind against her and was constantly interfering with their relationship. She seemed a bit old to have a young child at home, so I interrupted and asked the age of her son. Hes just turned 32, she said . . . Oh. And how long ago was the divorce? About seventeen years, she said. This wasnt a divorce, it was a career! A way of life! Getting a judgment doesnt mean your divorce is over. Not having a judgment doesnt mean it isnt over emotionally. The real divorce is over when you have your self back. The real divorce is over when: This can happen very soon, many years from now, or never. Its up to you. The way you go through your divorce (real and legal) will determine how long it takes you to get over it and what your life will be like for a long time to come. What you do and the way you do it now is very important to your future. Your goal to get through your divorce and come out with as much as possible of your emotional strength and financial resources so you can get on with your new life. You dont want to spend all that time and money struggling with the legal divorce. And thats why you dont want to get dragged into and mauled by the legal system. This is why we are going to show you how to avoid the legal system. Go on to the next section: The legal system and the way lawyers work in it is a major cause of conflict, trouble and high cost. Learn how it works so you can understand how to beat the system.
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