Divorce Helpline

tools to keep you out of court











A Short Divorce Course

When will your divorce be over?

People constantly ask us, “When will my divorce be over?” And we always have to say, “Well, it depends on what you mean by ‘over.’ ”

In one unforgettable case, a woman came in asking for orders against her ex-husband. She was haggard with emotion, nervous and upset to the point that she seemed ill. Trembling, she related at length how bad her ex-husband was, how ever since their divorce he had been poisoning her son’s mind against her and was constantly interfering with their relationship. She seemed a bit old to have a young child at home, so I interrupted and asked the age of her son. “He’s just turned 32,” she said . . . “Oh. And how long ago was the divorce?” “About seventeen years,” she said. This wasn’t a divorce, it was a career! A way of life!

Getting a judgment doesn’t mean your divorce is over. Not having a judgment doesn’t mean it isn’t over emotionally.

The real divorce is over when you have your self back. The real divorce is over when:

the pain, anger, hurt, blame and guilt are finished

your spouse no longer has the power to push your buttons

you are comfortable in the middle of your own life

This can happen very soon, many years from now, or never. It’s up to you.

The way you go through your divorce (real and legal) will determine how long it takes you to get over it and what your life will be like for a long time to come. What you do and the way you do it now is very important to your future.

Your goal to get through your divorce and come out with as much as possible of your emotional strength and financial resources so you can get on with your new life. You don’t want to spend all that time and money struggling with the legal divorce. And that’s why you don’t want to get dragged into and mauled by the legal system.

This is why we are going to show you how to avoid the legal system.


Go on to the next section:
The legal system and the way lawyers work in it is a major cause of conflict, trouble and high cost. Learn how it works so you can understand how to beat the system.

Back to the Short Divorce Course table of contents


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